I’m going to bypass all the niceties and get straight to it this week.

We’ve all been lied to.

“How?!” might you ask? Oh great, I’m glad you did.

Have you ever heard the quote, “Quitters never win and winners never quit?” I did a little research and found out these wise words were spoken by National Football League player, coach, and executive Vince Lombardi.

Now, not to take anything away from our boy Vince (because he definitely has a strong list of accolades including winning Superbowl I and II…yes, the very first one) but I think our homie might have been a bit off base.

Stay with me here, I’m going somewhere.

You see…people quit all the time and still win. Even in card games such as poker, You have to know when to “hold ’em and when to fold ’em.” But, life isn’t exactly a card game, so let me put this in context before you drop out of that 2018 fitness challenge.

I’m not telling you to quit anything. What I am saying is that the higher you rise in any realm, be it your career, academics, finance, or relationships – the more you will be forced to sacrifice something. Even if you think you can do it all, it’s not beneficial to do so.

For example, do you think Steve Jobs knew how to put a stamp on an envelope? I’m sure. But, was he in the mailroom at Apple sorting through deliveries? I doubt it. However, what would have been the trade off if Steve never made the sacrifice to hire mail workers? His time would not have been freed up to become the visionary and help engineer the very device you have in your hand right now (sorry ‘droid people…I’m part of the Apple nation).

I was all for #TeamVince until my leadership professor, Dr. Jennifer Robin, shook my world with a question that I continue to ask myself before I ever quit anything. Now, I’ve mentioned Dr. Robin a few times on the blog before, she inspired my first career mantra and also pushed me into leadership studies. She’s one of the people on my Personal Board of Directors and always offers a counterintuitive approach to decision making.

I once solicited her advice prior to making a major decision. I was frustrated and didn’t understand why I was holding on to what I felt like was dead weight when I could just cut it loose and count my losses.

Before I made the decision she said this to me:
“I know this situation is uncomfortable, Vannesia, but are you in pain or are you just being stretched? If you can honestly say you’re in pain…then leave. But, if you’re just being stretched then stay.”

(I told you she was deep, right?)

I got the opportunity to share this same question with a group of super creative women last year at the 2017 Creative Souls Tribe Conference…and let me tell you about the flood gates of questions, transparency, and vulnerability that followed. It was shocking to see how many people were in pain, but it was a beautiful process to witness them releasing themselves from it.

I wish you would have been able to be in the audience. But, I was able to edit down a short audio snippet!

Take a listen and then examine any situation/friendship/relationship that could potentially be placing you in pain. Also take note of the stretchers, including the sparring partners you identified last week.

 I encourage you to share it with anyone you also feel needs it.

No shade to Vince, but I think you’ll find you’ll be on #TeamJennifer after you take a listen.

Until next week, my friend.


Hi, I'm Vannesia. I quit my job in 2016 because I knew I was purposed for more than tweeting. Now, I get to encourage creatives and entrepreneurs while helping them use what they have to level up in their life and business. Be careful, signing up to receive my messages may cause you to start believing in yourself. Only click the button if you're about that life.

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